she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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