yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
