i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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