After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
