Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
