i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is the high leading the old right now
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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