i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
