If i come over, it means nothing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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