Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Randomize
