your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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