My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I am naked and annoyed.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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