When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
how drunk are you?
Several
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
