I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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