all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
