I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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