tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
This is my gift to your gina
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
