peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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