she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
