I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
