i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
one might say we're banned from that church
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
