You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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