you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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