just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
