Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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