He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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