It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
