Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
