Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
