I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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