thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so let's talk penis.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
