I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
