matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
