Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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