i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize