I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
it's like heaven, but drunker
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
