one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
