My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
