ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
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