I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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