The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize