smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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