dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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