Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Two words: blizzard sex
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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