the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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