Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
