"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
