so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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