we made out on top of his cat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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