so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize