why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
