so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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