I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize