my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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