16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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