You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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