her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
