just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
