I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
MIDGETS
????
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
