I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
