I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
