...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
