I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i've created a new STD.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
