Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
